homebrew wine recipe

you will need:
-one gallon of spring water
-a pot that can hold said gallon (two will work if neccessary)
-sugar (surprisingly, altern (and, one would assume) other substitutes work. but you’re better off with the real deal)
-a funnel (though one can be made out of a juice can if you don’t have one)
-two cans of concentrated juice
-yeast (the stuff in the jar might stop working….better off with the packets.)

-boil the water, and add 2 cups of sugar to it. as soon as it boils, turn off the heat.
-while you’re doing this, use the bleach to sterilize the now empty gallon jug and the funnel. then wash them out with soap.
-now, you wait. the water has to be about room temperature (preferably colder), or bathwater warm. also, make sure your juice cans are thawed, or at least in liquid form.
-activate your yeast by adding 1/4 cup of hot water to 2 teaspoons of yeast and one teaspoon of sugar. let it sit for ten minutes, it’ll turn into a gross looking bubbly diarrhea.
-dump your juice into the jug, then the water. make sure you leave a bit of space for the yeast, and don’t fill it to the brim.
-add your yeast
-shake it like a polaroid
-place a balloon over the top.

that’s it! after about an hour, your balloon should inflate (if it doesn’t, you fucked up somewhere.) and you need to take a pin and poke a hole or two in it. this allows CO2 to escape and keeps air out.

the more sugar you add, the faster it’ll brew (about ten days), and the meaner it’ll be. this stuff can give you a monster fucking headache. an extra cup or cup and a half of sugar will turn this jazz into amnesia juice.

it’s usually done in twelve days (but can go as long as fourteen), so plan parties accordingly. there will be yeast collected on the bottom-don’t worry, this is normal.

once it hatches, put it in the fridge. it’ll stay drinkable for up to a week, provided you saved the lid for the jug.

so far, we’ve been using welch’s juice, but anything will work, brand-wise or flavour.

here’s our ‘recipes’ thus far:

melrose place (1 can tropical fruit blend, 1 can white grape)
strawberry cooter (2 cans strawberry (also, this would be great with frozen strawberries as icecubes)
grimace (2 cans concord grape)

enjoy, fuckers!


2 Responses to “homebrew wine recipe”

  1. Grimace! Wonderful. Named after the constellation, i presume?

  2. fraggleface Says:

    we need to make another or else.

    this weekend.

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